
It’s worked pretty well for the last
13 years. The Browns have had more starts and restarts, system
failures and reboots, new blood and tired blood in the last 13 or so
years then most franchises go through in 50 years, no discernible
progress being the given. The last time the Pittsburgh Steelers, for
example, had a major change in course was when Bill Cowher retired
(after winning a Super Bowl) and the Rooney family hired Mike Tomlin
to fill his shoes 7 years ago. As a measure of the distance between
the two franchises, Browns fans still dream of hiring Cowher.
Having long since grown tired of
recapping the same miserable loss that everyone else saw with their
own eyes, I decided to try and search for a better way. Thus gave
life to this new venture, one that tries to at least figure out the
things we know about the Browns based on their performance this past
week in context with the previous week’s failure or, on the rare
occasion, its success. With but that bare framework to launch,
here’s The Things We Know about the Browns, week two:
1. It’s come down to this. When a
team has had so little success for so long a time, its fans
inevitably will start counting the good losses as half wins.
Sunday’s defensive and special teams’ breakdowns against the
Cincinnati Bengals were just that sort of half win. Fans felt kind
of good, like there may be a spark of something to work with here,
that perhaps they can win more than 5 games this season.
The problem, though, is that these half
wins count as full losses in the NFL and according to some
cubicle-dwelling geek housed in the Bristol compound deprived of
nourishment until he can find a meaningful statistic that hasn’t
yet been used, only 12% of the teams that have started 0-2 made the
playoffs. After two weeks in the NFL, there already are 6 teams that
are 0-2, which equates nicely to 20% of the league, give or take a
fraction. That means, if I remember my high school math correctly,
that at best only one of those six teams has a chance at making the
playoffs this season.
Somewhere in the universe that is
Bristol surely there is someone that can tell me the odds that of
those six teams (Cleveland, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Kansas City,
Oakland and New Orleans) the Browns will be the one to emerge.
Because I have the patience of a new born puppy when it comes to such
things and can’t wait for another cubicle-dwelling Bristol geek to
finish his work, I’ll just make up the odds and assume it’s at
best 5%. It's probably less.
It doesn’t matter anyway. Likely
none of those teams make the playoffs. But if you had to make a
wager, and say you had to either make that wager or watch 24 straight
hours of the Kim Kardashian wedding tape (as opposed to, say, the Kim
Kardashian porn tape), you’d choose New Orleans, right? They are
without their head coach and are a mess, but they still have far more
talent then any of the other six. The difference between them and
every other team on the list can be summed up in two words: Drew
Brees. But even the Saints are a long shot.
So we know it won’t be the Browns,
meaning that just two weeks in any stupid, delusional hopes of the
playoffs have been effectively dashed. Statistics may lie and liars
may use statistics and a Bill Belichick team might lose a home opener
to the Arizona Cardinals when their kicker shanks it at about the
same time the previously vanquished Patriots kicker was winning a
game for the Colts, there are still two things that are true in the
NFL: statistics are Gospel and the Browns never, ever defy the odds.
That means another early pick.
But back to that feel good loss. Why
all the happy faces? It’s because Brandon Weeden and Trent
Richardson had good games. That gets the fans to thinking that if
the defense and the offense could just come together at the same
time, then this team might be worth watching?
But that’s rather the point, isn’t
it? A team tends to be worth watching when they actually do put all
phases of their game together. Until then they are at best like your
golf game. You may be driving well, and that makes you feel you
played well even when your putting was off and you didn’t break 90.
The next week you sink 6 putts of 15 feet or more but hit 5 drives
out of bounds and you didn’t break 90 and feel worse. Surely if
you would quit hitting your drives out of bounds and make a bunch of
15 foot putts, you’d regularly break 80, maybe even 70 on occasion
and then who knows?, with a little more practice maybe you can get on
the Senior Tour.
You’re not getting on the Senior Tour
because the chance that you will consistently do both things well is
exactly the same as the Browns consistently playing good offense,
defense and special teams. That hasn’t happened in generations and
it may be generations before it happens again.
So what we know right now is that the
defense still has an incredible depth problem. If Buster Skrine
remains on this team it’s only because whoever else is out of
football at the moment and used to be a defensive back is either too
concussed to remember how to wear a helmet and/or too slow to cover
Joe Thomas on a tackle eligible play. Joe Haden is a nice player,
but he’s not nearly as good as Skrine made him look on Sunday.
Skrine told the media after the game “I
don’t think I played very well.” How am I to argue.
As for the other hole in the defensive
backfield, the one created when Sheldon Brown didn’t play, rookie
Trevin Wade wasn’t exactly a revelation. He seemed about as ready
to play as Weeden did the week before. On the other hand, he didn't
get hurt. Call it a half win.

Weeden had a couple ways he could have
gone after the debacle against the Eagles last week. That he chose
to ignore the cacophony and instead work harder during the week so
that he could be a little less wide-eyed on game day was a bold and
admirable choice. He didn’t have a perfect game, certainly, but he
did show that his confidence and his psyche aren’t too fragile for
the pro game.
All that said, Weeden has a long way to
go to prove that he’s not Derek Anderson or Mike Phipps. Anderson
had an entire season where he looked every bit the franchise
quarterback and yet he failed when his strong arm kept putting the
ball in the hands of opposing defensive backs. Phipps had a big arm
and the intellect of Jeff Spicoli. In other words, there is still
plenty of time for this to go another way.
The other number one pick, Trent
Richardson, had a good game as well, as dramatic of a difference from
week one as was Weeden’s, perhaps even more so. Richardson’s
moves to get in the end zone on the pass from Weeden was just the
kind of moment that does make you think he could actually be special.
Anytime a running back has more than
100 yards in less than 20 carries and then adds a catch for a
touchdown is a day to celebrate, especially in Cleveland. If you
want to add perspective to it, here’s why Kansas City lost: Peyton
Hillis fumbled on the two yard line at the exact moment that Chiefs
were poised to get back into the game. It’s why Hillis isn’t in
Cleveland. He can’t hang on to the friggin’ ball.
So the rookies, the two the team really
are counting on anyway, had a good week. The results haven't changed
but string together more of those performances and the results have
to change.
3. There’s something about defensive
coordinator Dick Jauron to like. His teams bend like a Russian
gymnast but typically don't give up a lot of points. You have to
like, too, that his career as a head coach pretty much matches the
success rate of the Browns 2.0, right down to all those losing
seasons. But he keeps plugging away and never seems to carry a chip
on his shoulder. He knows defense and now seems content to let that
phase of his career play out without any greater aspirtions. That's
why, despite having virtually no success as a head coach, players
still respect him and still listen to him.

It's especially a problem against Andy
Dalton. Weeden had that aforementioned 114.9 quarterback rating
against the Bengals yesterday. Dalton has put up that kind of rating
against the Browns for three games now, which means three straight
wins. (It's only in Cleveland that a quarterback puts up that kind of
rating and loses, kind of like when the Browns went 10-6 under Romeo
Crennel and didn't make the playoffs.) If Jauron doesn't find
another way to try to stop Dalton, who essentially is Brandon Weeden
only younger, then it's likely to be another season gone without
winning a divisional game.
Frankly, I'd rather see the Browns
defense challenge most quarterbacks to throw long. Accuracy
decreases the further the pass. That would mean of course that the
Browns would have to count on a very weak defensive line to pressure
the quarterback and I think we all know how that would go.
But poison must be picked and right now
the better choice would seem to be to play 5 defensive backs on every
down and hope that the line and linebackers can stop the run and keep
marginal pressure on the quarterback. The against-type method of
defense let the Bengals score 27 points and this isn't that good of a
Bengals team.
4. There will be no real progress for
this franchise until it can win AFC North games. They've now lost 11
straight. It's understandable when the Browns are playing the Ravens
and the Steelers. But how do they lose that many to the Bengals?
Let that roll around the crevices of
your brain for a moment. The Bengals, perhaps the league's next
biggest doormat, has beaten the Browns 13 of their last 16 times
they've played. You can throw out everything you ever really know
about the Browns 2.0 and just look at that stat and know that this is
a franchise in trouble. That's why it's hard to look at any loss,
even the supposedly feel-good half-win type losses, and feel that
progress has been made.
There were plenty of other things we
now know but why get on a screed about Greg Little's celebration
after his touchdown? I'd say he should act like he's been there
before but he's not that good of an actor.